He was regarded as the best fast bowler in the world. But Aussie cricketer Mitchell Johnson seemed to have lost his mojo at the start of the recent England/Australia Ashes tour and those in the know claimed they knew why: he’d fallen out with his mother. In no time at all the tall 27-year-old went from golden boy to mommy’s boy.
All it took were a few comments from Vikki Harber about her son paying more attention to his new fiancée, karate champion and model Jessica Bratich, than to her to send the star cricketer into a slump.
It started last month in the run-up to the Ashes series in England when Vikki (45), who raised Mitchell on her own since a divorce when he was nine, told the media she’d “lost her boy to his new fiancée”.
Mitchell was furious and devastated - and it showed in his cricket. But mid-Ashes something happened to put him back on top of his game: he and his mom made up.
He says all is forgiven and that his mom will be invited to the wedding next May. “She’s my mom so she has done things for me and you want your family to be at your wedding.”
Women like Vikki are inclined to rule their sons’ lives with strong opinions and by being overprotective, says Amanda Grobler, a clinical psychologist in Roodepoort, Gauteng. The smothering begins at an early age and can continue into adulthood.
“An overbearing mom’s life will revolve around pleasing her son and she’ll be controlling.”
Also, any woman who’s needy and unfulfilled in her own life and relationships may dote so much on her son that an emotional co-dependence develops. It could result in him feeling he always has to be there for her and allow her to make the smallest decisions for him. The payoff is constant praise and adoration.
“This can lead to the child being unable to establish and maintain relationships with peers and he’ll be less able to take responsibility for his actions as a boy and a man,” Johannesburg clinical psychologist Adele Romanis says.
A man whose mother takes precedence in his life may find it difficult to have a healthy relationship with another woman.
The bottom line, Romanis says, is a mother has to allow her son to explore who he is when he’s young. Because no adult male should have his mommy ruling his life.
- For telltale signs he hasn’t let go and tips to change the relationship see YOU, 20 August.
